I suppose all of us have suffered this category, and more than our fair share of it. You go to office, you are chugging along peacefully on your work station, minding your business, when out pops a such person or communication from such a person from nowhere, and things spiral downwards thereafter.
Well in most cases it’s not as I have illustrated, but these pests are there, crawling on the façade of every lobby, bay and cafeteria, making the work-life more stressful than it already is. And they have the multiplying effect.
Nothing works with them. No reasoning, no objectivity, simply nothing. They are simply there to be the bane of your existence. And the most riling part is that, most of the times, they have no reason to do so. Absolutely none.
As with most pandemics, there are categories to this one too. I will try and list out the ones I have come across in my office. You will be surprised at how many I have faced in such a short time. I am.
Let me begin with the Mediocre Pains and then move on to the Major ones. (To be noted – there are no Minor Ones)
MEDIOCRE PAINS
Irritants
Mostly they are affable and one can get along with them, but not for more than 10 minutes at a stretch. Then you need to go out and blow some steam and come back and pray to God to give you the strength. I mean really. Typical characteristics – they ask too many questions, poke their noses, probe too much, offer unsolicited advice and are basically lazybones, who given a chance, will shovel their work to you. It is a short time before they graduate into the ‘Major Pain’ sub-division.
Arguers
Difficult for the sake being difficult, arguers love to have the last word. They will question everything from your work to the flavour of your drink. Agreeing with anyone, goes against the grain of their very nature. It’s as if they will be struck by lightning if they become agreeable. With these specimens, subtle hints don’t work. Direct confrontations don’t work. Probably dropping a bucket on their head will work. I haven’t tried that yet.
Nosey
A version of the irritant category, they poke their nose whether needed or not. ‘I want to know all’ best describes their state of being. It can be really really annoying, when a simple question is succeeded but a volley of unrelated ones followed by some totally unneeded advice, as is how Noseys usually proceed. Sometimes Noseys are also ‘I know it all and best at that’s, and the resultant feeling you get is nettling at the mildest and murderous at the most intense.
MAJOR PAINS
Backstabbers
This breed will pretend to be a friend, will lend you a shoulder to de-stress on and then merrily play snitch. Another by-product (at times), is that they not only offload their work to you, but also harp about what wonderful managers they are and how much they have worked their ass off to get this particular piece of job done. In short they are lethal. And if they are your boss – you are better off in another department.
‘Everyone Listen to Me’ syndrome
This is another widespread variant. They are stubborn and usually accompanied with the mindset of ‘My work is perfect’, ‘I know it all’ and ‘My opinion is the best’, they are at best insufferable. A stuffed peacock, their surroundings are generally populated by rolling eyes, tightened lips, inaudible ‘there s/he comes’ sighs and an undeniable air of dread. Nobody wants to be a part of their team, unless forced or there is a killer project involved. This co-worker, actually believes that s/he is invaluable. Sadly they are not. More sadly, they never realise it.
Me Firsts
When their work is to be done, everything else should be at the bottom on your priority list. Else they will throw names, and escalate mails till kingdom comes. Bulldozers are what I call them. The indicative symptoms are, they generally boast how efficient and good they are, how they make the wheels turn and how when they are around they always make the sun shine. Troublemakers, with zero consideration of any genuine constraints, they think they are being Hollywood corporate tough. They are just being obnoxious assholes.
Critics
As a rule, this colleague works with the attitude of ‘Have spanner. Will throw at your work’. Without any ceremony, they will strive to make people around them look bad, except the top brass. Oh they are psycophants in that sphere. With the rest, they will find fault with everything from the way you dot your i’s and cross your t’s to your nail shade. And they will not hesitate to bring it up at the most public forum. The most infuriating bit is that they perform their act with the air of doing the organisation and you (a co-worker) a service – ‘See by pointing this out, I have helped avoid such a major catastrophe and taught you a valuable lesson on how to do things better (which evidently you haven’t been doing)’. Anyone want a hatchet?
THEORIES ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THE DC’S
There are only theories of dealing with difficult people. I am listing some of them below.
In the event that someone does stumble across this blog and then pause to read it (a rarity) I hope that it will help you cope with these needlers.
- Talk, talk and talk to sort out the problems and collaborate (if only life were so simple!!)
- Ignore (Easiest way out but not the most advisable. Usually eggs DC’s on)
- Acknowledge the issues and try to find out if you may be the problem (Can prove to be fatal in some cases)
- Set the boundary (Easier said than done – but it’s feasible)
- Have a no holds barred fight (Therapeutic. Needs courage. Known to have pitfalls)
- Become the Yes man (Easy. Not conducive)
- Compromise (and be a pushover)
- Tit-for-tat camaraderie (at least the DC will what they are up against)
Going by the exhaustive list I have charted out, it’s a wonder I haven’t turned into a serial killer yet. Since I have just a 4 year old career, I don’t think that this miracle is going to last long. But I do have a long way to go till nirvana.